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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058019">Rescue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindingmyownbusiness/pseuds/mindingmyownbusiness'>mindingmyownbusiness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:00:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindingmyownbusiness/pseuds/mindingmyownbusiness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You've always believed your soulmate was out there somewhere, Bucky not so much. What happens when he finally takes a leap of faith and reaches out to you? Inspired by Rescue by Lauren Daigle.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Your POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Another beautiful day…” squinting you blink the sleep from your eyes and stretch in a way that channels your inner cat. “I wonder if you’re a morning person?” Rolling over you snuggle deeper under your comforter. “Gosh I hope not,” you chuckle to yourself, “cause in case you haven’t noticed I hate getting out of bed.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sunbeams filtering through your curtains have travelled nearly the width of your bed before you manage to summon the energy to rise and truly greet the day. If anyone else was around to hear you they’d probably think you were crazy for talking to someone who clearly wasn’t there but honestly you couldn’t be bothered. You knew in your heart that your soulmate was out there somewhere and that he was listening and no one could take that away from you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soulmate bonds were not a guarantee these days, more of a persistent myth. “Like the Force,” you’d giggled one night as you rewatched the original Star Wars trilogy for the umpteenth time and pondered aloud about the comparisons between the strength of the soulmate bond versus the strength of the Force. “Nobody believes in the Force until they see it with their own eyes, it’s the same way with soulmates. I’m one of the lucky ones ya know, my parents had the bond so I know it’s real. Just like I know you’re real and one day we’ll find each other, you can take that to the bank.” You smiled as you thought of your mom and dad. It had been long enough since their deaths that your thoughts were more of fondness and less of sadness. Of course you missed them terribly but you knew that they wouldn’t want you to grieve forever, they valued life and love too much for you to waste away on might-have-beens. They’d want you to make the most of each day, and to never give up hope on finding your own soulmate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flicking off the TV you tidied up a bit as you moved through your apartment getting settled in for the night. “Lights off, doors and windows locked...” you headed for your bathroom, making a ridiculous face in the mirror before starting your bedtime routine. “That one was just for you handsome, so you know what you’re in for.” After finishing up you winked and blew a kiss at the mirror, “Hope you’re keeping count of those cause you owe me like a billion, mister.” Flipping off the light you climbed into bed, your weighted blanket and nest of additional blankets and pillows always a welcome relief at the end of the day. “I wonder if you run hot or cold… I bet you’re warm cause I’m freezing all the time, that would explain a lot…” you murmured as you rolled over to find a comfortable position, your eyes falling shut soon after. “Goodnight.. whoever you are. Can’t wait to see you, hear your voice, to hold your hands in mine… Love you..” and you drifted off, thoughts of your soulmate filling your head and fueling your dreams.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cursing under his breath he stormed into his room, tac vest and weapons tossed who knows where as he stripped and turned the shower on as hot and as high as it would go. Lava showers were his go-to when he needed a reset, just enough self-inflicted pain to separate his brain from the details of a particularly grueling mission. He groaned as he stepped under the spray, allowing the heat and the pressure to wash away the worst bits of the last four days. Sure, they got the bad guys in the end, even discovered some unexpected intel in the process, but the getting there had been ridiculously draining. Squirreled away in a remote South American jungle, the Hydra base provided little choice when it came to infiltration.  Landing within five miles would have given away their position so it had been a difficult trek through unforgiving terrain, not to mention the hundred-plus degree heat. Time was of the essence so any sort of rest was sacrificed for the sake of the mission. By the time they made it to the base and overpowered double the amount of goons as were predicted the entire team was stretched thin. Needless to say they were all thankful to be back home and without another mission for the foreseeable future. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feeling the water cool slightly he shook himself out of his daze and finished rinsing the last of the dirt and blood from his body. He could feel himself coming down hard from the adrenaline of the mission and barely dried off before slipping on some sleep shorts and collapsing into bed, the hum of his fan creating that white noise that his brain craved when he needed to further quiet his thoughts. Bucky could handle 48 hours without sleep no problem, but that didn’t mean he liked doing it or that he didn’t need at least 24 hours of sleep afterwards. Just before he drifted off he thought he heard a voice... a soft, soothing voice that brought an unexpected smile to his face. Before he could think too much about it he succumbed to his dreams, pleasant dreams for once, filled with a mysterious woman and an overwhelming feeling of safety and love.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Your POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was all you could do to keep your tears at bay. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a few more steps, almost there…</span>
  </em>
  <span> Your normally positive persona was cracking, breaking apart at the seams with each agonizing step up to your fourth floor apartment. Everybody has bad days, you knew that, but today you couldn’t help but feel like the entire world was out to get you. Last night’s power outage meant your phone died, which meant no alarm, which meant..?  You guessed it, you being ridiculously late for work. Which wouldn’t normally have been so bad except for the surprise performance review that you found waiting on you when you finally arrived at the office. Embarrassment notwithstanding you survived the review slash ambush and decided to pay penance by working through lunch, promising to make it up to yourself by ordering from your favorite take-out place for dinner. Except that plan blew up in your face when you arrived to find it unexpectedly closed for renovations and you had to settle for the last sad and lonely turkey sandwich from the corner deli. “Sums up my life right about now,” you grumbled under your breath as you paid and headed the last few blocks home. Just when the thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>well at least it can’t get any worse</span>
  </em>
  <span> had entered your head the overcast sky turned and the heavens opened so suddenly that you were soaked to the bone before you could even make it to your building. Pair that with a broken heel from a crooked subway grate plus an out-of-service elevator and you almost gave up right there in the lobby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally at your destination you fumbled through unlocking your door, slamming it behind you with more force than necessary. Leaning back against the cold and unforgiving wood you slumped down to the floor, your belongings dropping haphazardly around you. You were wet, cold, mentally and physically exhausted, and the only thing left in your head was the feeling of being completely and utterly alone. “Where are you…?” your voice wavered slightly, the tears you’d been holding off now overflowing and streaming down your cheeks. “Why aren’t you here </span>
  <b>now</b>
  <span>, taking care of me? Picking me up and holding me close? Drying me off and telling me everything is going to be okay?” Your words bounced around your empty apartment, mocking you and your hope and faith in your soulmate. “Are you even there? Do you even exist…?” you whispered into the darkness. “I… I don’t know why I even bother… either you aren’t there, or… or you are, a-and you just don’t want anything to do with m-me…” Sobs now wracking your body, you curled up in a ball and cried till there were no tears left. Minutes, could’ve been hours later you drug yourself off the floor, your movements listless and robotic as you stripped off your wet clothing, leaving it and everything else in a heap on your floor as you collapsed into bed, falling into a fitful, dreamless sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Head pounding Bucky stumbles towards the kitchen in the compound letting the smell of coffee guide his way. Saying he was a sight for sore eyes was generous at best. His clothes were damp with sweat, his new short hair sticking up in several places, and who knew that supersoldiers could get dark circles under their eyes anyway? The first mug he attempts to grab shatters as it falls onto the counter. Swearing under his breath he sweeps the pieces into the trash with his metal hand and pushes thoughts of murder and destruction from the front of his brain. His mission for coffee still needed to be accomplished.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills,” Sam chirps from his seat at the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut it, Birdbrain,” he growls out as he grabs a new mug from the cabinet and pours himself a cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No offense Barnes but you look like shit. Rough night?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could say that.” His thoughts flicker back to the disturbing images his mind conjured up from the night before. The despair on her face, her cries for him to help her, save her… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nightmares?” Bucky startles out of his daze to find Sam right beside him, a hand on his shoulder to ground him, bring him back to reality. Bucky takes a slow sip of coffee, knowing that his face is telling his partner a lot more that his words are ready to. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but, this one… this one was different.” He scrubs a hand down his face, murmurs of the dream still lingering, still persistently poking at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam looks at him knowingly. “Wanna talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shakes his head, takes another sip. “You’ll think I’m losing my mind... nothing about it makes sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey man, try me.” Sam leans back against the counter across from Bucky and crosses his arms. “I used to be pretty good at helping guys down at the VA deal with stuff that went bump in the night ya know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky sighs, staring into his mug as if he might find some answers in there. After a long moment he begins to speak. “Things have been good since Wakanda, really good. Mostly a dreamless sleep, but when I do dream there’s always this… girl.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?” Sam can’t help his signature smirk which is quickly countered with Bucky’s own signature murder face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be an ass Wilson, it’s not like that she’s… she’s not always at the center of my dreams but she’s always there… it’s like…” He closes his eyes, easily picturing her in his mind. “She is so damn beautiful, with soft features and the most captivating smile. Her laugh is just infectious and her voice… her voice feels like coming home.” Seeing and hearing her in his dreams always filled him with a sense of belonging, a warmth in his chest that he was certain he’d never felt anywhere else. He smiled softly to himself, all trace of worry and burden erased from his features.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude... that’s your soulmate!” Bucky’s eyes flew open at Sam’s declaration, the look of shock and awe on Sam’s face almost comical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come off it man, soulmates are a myth.” Bucky brushed off Sam’s reaction, finishing his coffee in one gulp and discarding it in the sink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m serious, man! They say the bond is no joke. Some are able to hear, or see, sometimes even physically interact with each other over huge distances.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well then tell me this, what does it mean that after months of seeing her in my dreams that last night she was the star of my nightmares, huh? What kind of messed up soulmate crap is that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, man. Dreams are weird like that, unpredictable. Maybe something happened to her? Have you tried contacting her at all?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky rolled his eyes. “How do I even do that? I didn’t even know soulmates were a thing until two minutes ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s all about consent man, you have to agree to it, decide it’s what you want before it can happen. I bet that she agreed to it already if you’re seeing and hearing her in your dreams.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still think you’re messing with me Wilson... but I’d try just about anything to never have a nightmare like that again.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> His POV </span>
</p><p>Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, Sam’s words swirling in his brain. After this morning Bucky didn’t know what to think but all day he’d felt as though something was tugging at him, a literal pull in his chest. He felt unsettled and now was practically desperate for answers. The internet wasn’t much help, soulmates were a polarizing subject. So many people didn’t seem to have one and were very vocal about denying that soulmates even existed while those who claimed to have a soulmate were just as insistent that they were very real. At this point Bucky was ready to try anything. If something came out of it that would be great, if not then he’d schedule an extra therapy appointment for himself this week and work out his nightmare issues there. </p><p>“How do I do this anyway? Just ‘give consent’? It can’t be that easy…” He hung his head, laughing at himself.  “Great now I’m talking to myself.” Letting out a slow breath he looked around the room, his eye catching on a small candle that Wanda had given him when she was helping him through some meditation exercises. “Maybe I just need to focus, get rid of distractions, clear my mind and see if she’s really out there.” </p><p>A few moments later, candle lit, lights dimmed, his fan creating a soothing white noise in the background, he sat cross-legged on his bed and stared into the flame. He took several slow, deep breaths, willing his body to relax and just be in the moment. As he watched the light flicker he pictured her face, her smile, he focused on the feelings he would get in his dreams, that warmth in his chest. He concentrated on the thought that she wanted to talk to him, she wanted the connection, she wanted… him. And then he simply listened.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> Your POV </span>
</p><p>You hummed to yourself as you moved through your kitchen, fixing your favorite cozy drink of peppermint hot cocoa and keeping an eye on the brownies that were almost done baking. “I’m so glad I took the day off today. Yesterday was a literal nightmare and hey, who doesn’t need a mental health day every now and then?” You paused, the feelings from yesterday gathering like storm clouds in the distance. The brownie timer going off brought you back to the present and you moved swiftly to pull out the sweet treats before they baked too long. </p><p>“Nope, nope, nooooope, not gonna dwell on yesterday! I feel bad enough that I doubted you at all, it’s really not fair to you, is it? I would hate for you to think I’d given up on us before there was an ‘us’… now <b>that</b> would be truly awful.” You set the pan to the side to cool, returning to your cocoa mission. “I just… is it weird to say that I miss you? I know we’ve never met, never even spoken but… gosh I miss you anyways.” You poured yourself a mug, adding a generous amount of mini marshmallows, and stood at your window looking out over the city. “I wonder where you are right now, how your day is going. Are you taking a mental health day too? Do you even have the kind of job where you need one?” You hummed as you blew across your cocoa and took a sip. “I wish I knew something about you, other than the fact that I already love you of course,” you smiled and laughed to yourself, sighing softly. “But you know what I really wish? That you were here, right now. That we could cuddle on my couch and catch up on stupid reality TV shows while we gorge ourselves on brownies and make ourselves sick on cocoa and marshmallows. Now that? That sounds like the best day ever…”</p><p>
  <span class="u"> His POV </span>
</p><p>Quiet. Too quiet. Bucky was beginning to feel frustration creeping in. “Why isn’t this working?” he groaned. “And there I go talking to myself again. Maybe I’m losing my mind after all…” He laid back on his bed, abandoning the candle idea and staring at his ceiling instead. “She seems to want me to know she’s there, but… do I really want it too? Am I ready to really believe in this stuff?” He let those thoughts roll around in his head a bit. “Maybe Sam wasn’t kidding about the consent stuff, maybe… maybe we <b>both</b> have to want something to make it happen.” He sat straight up realizing that if he was serious about finding out the truth that he was going to have to take a leap of faith, true faith in his potential soulmate. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and spoke into the darkness, “As hard as it is for me to believe that the universe thinks I deserve this, cause God knows I don’t think I do, I can’t deny these signs, these feelings anymore. <b>If</b> you are out there--- no, no I <b>know</b> you’re out there so please, I-I want to know you. I need to hear your voice. I <b>know</b> you’re there. Please... ”</p><p>Bucky’s words echoed around his empty room as every fiber of his body strained to listen. And then... there was something, something like… humming? But very faint and as if it was coming from under water. He held his breath, waiting patiently as the sounds grew... now someone was talking? Something about… a nightmare? His eyes flew open but all he saw was the candle and the darkness of his room. The voice was becoming clearer. <em> Who are they talking to? </em> He thought to himself.</p><p>“I know we’ve never met, never even spoken but… gosh I miss you anyways.” <em> Is she… is she talking about me? To me...? </em> Bucky shook his head as the voice suddenly became crystal clear. And not just that but he could hear her moving around, hear the clink of a spoon against a mug, the sound of an oven opening and closing, even the sounds of the traffic and the city outside of wherever she was. She sounded like she was right there, in his room, close enough to touch, her voice giving him that same warmth he’d felt countless times in his dreams. The realization floored him. This was <b>her</b> . His <b>soulmate</b> . <em> Unbelievable... </em></p><p>“I wish I knew something about you, other than the fact that I already love you of course,” he could hear her laugh to herself and then sigh softly. “But you know what I really wish? That you were here, right now. That we could cuddle on my couch and catch up on stupid reality TV shows while we gorge ourselves on brownies and make ourselves sick on cocoa and marshmallows. Now that? That sounds like the best day ever…”</p><p>“It sure does, doll.” He couldn’t help himself, it just slipped out as naturally as if he’d said it to her a thousand times. But then he froze as he heard her gasp sharply followed by a crash and then, nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes had been through a lot in his life but nothing from his past seemed quite as terrifying as the silence he was experiencing at the current moment. It was as if a switch had been flipped, nothing but radio silence. A thousand thoughts were screaming at him as he paced back and forth in his room, his heart rate and panic skyrocketing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is she okay? Is she hurt? What if someone attacked her, hurt her?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Bucky didn’t know what was happening with his newly discovered soulmate and it was completely debilitating. He felt useless, helpless… he didn’t even know her name, where she was, had no way of knowing if she was hurt or worse… “This was a horrible idea, I don’t know why I ever listened to Sam in the first place.” Resisting the urge to punch the wall he slumped to the floor, head in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Your POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell just happened…?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You grimaced as you moved to sit up, gingerly touching the throbbing lump on the back of your head that unfortunately was becoming more painful by the second. Leaning back carefully against the wall you closed your eyes and took some slow, deep breaths, trying to get the room to stop spinning so you could figure out why you just woke up on the floor surrounded by cocoa splatters and the broken remnants of your favorite mug. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I remember taking the brownies out, fixing my drink, looking out the window and talking to my soulmate like I always do, and then…</span>
  </em>
  <span> It was like time stopped as your eyes flew open and you remembered hearing words that clearly weren’t yours. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did he…? Was that really…? N-no way… could it be? Or did I finally completely lose it and project my desires so hard I passed out…?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You pressed trembling fingers to your lips as you silently prayed that it wasn’t all in your head and then you listened, reaching out with your whole being for that connection you’d dreamed of your whole life. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please be there, please be there… </span>
  </em>
  <span>You held your breath, your heart feeling as if it would burst any moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later you’d swear that you felt him before you heard him, that pull, that connection deep within, giving you the tiniest moment to prepare before you finally heard his voice growing stronger and clearer with each word he spoke. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“--rible idea, I don’t know why I ever listened to Sam in the first place.” You exhaled with a soft laugh, overcome with joy and emotion and literally blurted out before you could stop yourself--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’s Sam?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span class="u">His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky’s head snapped up. “You’re alive?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your laugh was like music to his ears. “Sure feels like I am, got a bit of a bump on my head though… and my favorite mug is toast.” He could hear the twinge of sadness in your voice and immediately felt the strange need to fix it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That explains the sound that scared me half to death...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shoulda been here to see me keel over, now that would’ve been something.” There you go giggling again, he was quickly becoming addicted to that sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As your laughter faded away the silence descended again. One beat, two beats, three-- “So…” you both started and then immediately chuckled in individually adorable, awkward ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s really you? M-my um, soulmate?” He could hear the cautious hope in your tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, looks like it is.” He hoped he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This should feel weird, right? But somehow it doesn’t, and </span>
  <b>that</b>
  <span> should be weird, right? Sorry for rambling I-I just can’t believe it’s really you...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, I just found out today that soulmates were a real thing so I’m still trying to decide whether or not I'm hallucinating all this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same here, but mostly because I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment.” The longing in your voice was unmistakable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” he deflated a bit, suddenly worried that he’d ruined things before they’d even started. “I-I’m so sorry…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, don’t be sorry okay? We’ve found each other now a-and that’s all that matters.” He sighed in relief, the tone of your voice instantly putting him at ease. He was feeling more and more thankful for.. for..  He groaned, facepalming as he realized his mistake. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice move idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought as he cursed himself internally.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Your worried voice pulled him from his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just realized I don’t even know your name,” he said apologetically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, It’s um, it’s (Y/N).” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow you really can hear when someone is smiling, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he realized.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“(Y/N)... that’s a beautiful name. I’m James, but everyone calls me Bucky.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky hmm? Can’t wait to hear the story behind that nickname.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much to tell, it’s just a play on my middle name.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I still look forward to hearing all about it. So, soulmate James slash Bucky, how much do you know about what we are, about soulmates?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much actually, not sure what’s fact or fiction since my only sources are my roommate who doesn’t have a soulmate yet and the cesspool that is the internet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well consider me something of an expert, my parents were actually soulmates and they told me all about it. What questions do you have?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thought for a moment. “Is it true that we could see each other, if we wanted?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could hear you hum thoughtfully. “Yes, ‘if we wanted’ being the key bit there, consent is absolutely essential.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My roommate, that’s Sam by the way, said that since I was seeing and hearing you in my dreams that you must have been pretty open about connecting with me, is that true?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dreaming about me already, huh?” He couldn’t help but smile at the affection in your voice. “Well Sam is right, I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be ready for my soulmate whenever my soulmate was ready for me. It seemed like a natural first step.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pictured you in his mind’s eye, the girl literally of his dreams. You were probably dying to know what he looked like as well. Bucky suddenly worried about all the things that made him a very complicated soulmate. His past, his age, his current occupation, his arm… his thoughts quickly spiraling out of control.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky? A-are you okay? You’re awfully quiet...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah I just… I’m not sure I’m ready to show you what I look like yet.” He knew his voice sounded strained but he couldn’t help it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, if you’re worried that I won’t like the way you look or something you don’t have to, worry that is. The soulmate bond goes so much deeper than the physical, we are literally made for each other, it’s gonna be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just… I think I’m gonna need some time to process all this, to get comfortable with it. Is.. is that okay?” He hated sounding so vulnerable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey of course it’s okay Bucky, you’re not gonna hurt my feelings. I’ve waited my whole life to find you, just knowing you are really there is the most wonderful thing that’s happened to me in, well, ever! I love being able to finally talk to you and the rest, well the rest will happen when the time is right. I’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet again everything about your voice eased his anxiety and he felt himself relax. “Thank you doll, that means a lot.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard your tiny sharp intake of breath, then your timid whisper, “Oh, I like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was momentarily confused until he realized what he said. “Like what? Being called ‘doll’?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeahhhhh..” You sounded a bit flustered, something that interestingly enough gave him a small sense of pride.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you--- are you blushing right now?” He knew he was being cheeky but gosh he was loving it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mayyyyybe?” You were definitely flustered and Bucky was hooked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now that I look forward to seeing.” He was legitimately grinning at this point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You gasped, “Who knew my soulmate would be such a charmer? Bet that works on all the girls where you’re from.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, not any other girls, not for a long time anyway.” The sound of Bucky’s phone alerting him to a text pulled his attention away. “Shoot I gotta go… I’m late to meet up with Sam. Um, so how exactly do I contact you again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, if everything works the way it’s supposed to, all you have to do is listen for my voice. This sounds nuts but I actually talk to you all the time, like an embarrassing amount, about the most mundane things. You just don’t hear it all the time because you aren’t tuned into me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I just need to ‘tune out’ when we are done and then ‘tune in’ when I wanna talk to you? That seems too easy.” He couldn’t help but sound skeptical, but then again he’d learned a lot of impossible things in his long lifetime.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep, and it’ll probably get easier as time goes on honestly.” You paused before continuing, your voice thick with emotion. “I-I'm so glad we finally met, Bucky.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am too (Y/N), I really am.”  He wished he could be there to wipe the tears he knew were falling down your face. “It’s not goodbye, never goodbye, okay? We’ll be talking again before you know it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” you were audibly sniffling at this point. “It’s mostly happy tears, I swear. Just.. j-just promise me that you won’t disappear on me? That you’ll be back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now it was Bucky’s turn to fight back tears. “I promise, we’ll talk again, real soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna hold you to that mister.” He could hear your happy leaking through your words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s my girl.” He smiled, picturing your face. “Later, Doll.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Talk to you soon, Bucky.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that he felt the connection end, but not sever though. There was still this feeling, a pull that didn’t go away when their conversation ended. He put his hand over his heart, closing his eyes and taking a moment to embrace the feeling, knowing somehow that somewhere out there you were doing the same thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another incoming text from Sam had him scrambling for the door. He was definitely in for a Captain America sized lecture for his lateness and undoubtedly a giant Sam sized ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ when he explained exactly what or rather who had made him so late.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>...a few weeks later...</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dogs or cats?” Bucky was leaning back against his headboard, idly flipping a knife as he listened for your answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmmm… that’s a tough one. I’m gonna say cats for right now, dogs later when I have a bigger place. I’d feel bad leaving a pupper cooped up in here while I’m at work.” You rinsed your plate and set it in the drying rack, moving to drain the sink and reaching for a dishtowel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get that. Been thinking of getting a cat myself. It’d be nice to have around but would also drive Sam crazy, win-win. Your turn, Y/N.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Any broken bones?” You asked as you hung the dishtowel up and headed to get ready for bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky barely stifled a laugh. “More than I care to count, doll, ribs and fingers mostly. Comes with the job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You try to picture him shrugging his shoulders like what he said was no big deal as you finish washing your face, shaking your head as the image fails you. “Wow… I forget how dangerous your job is sometimes…” you whispered the last bit to yourself but you knew he had to have heard you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not willing to let you dwell on that thought, Bucky presses forward, “How ‘bout you, hmm? Break an arm maybe? Collarbone...?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope, not a single one actually. I did have to get stitches once but I was so young I don’t remember it. Busted my face on the corner of a table when I was a toddler. Still have the scar.” You peer closer into your bathroom mirror, gently running a finger over the thin white line.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ouch… maybe we’ll compare scars one day..”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky sheaths his knife, turning out his bedside lamp and slipping under his sheets, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. Meanwhile you’ve slipped into your pjs and climbed into bed as well, a comfortable silence enveloping you both as you tuck into a ball under your covers. Your mind begins to wander, the dark and the quiet opening doors to thoughts and questions that typically remain dormant during the light of day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Bucky?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, doll?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I ask you a hard question?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure…” His heartbeat picked up, suddenly wary of what you were about to ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did um… w-were you one of the ones that got dusted?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let out a slow breath, the memories of that terrible day playing back in his mind. “Yeah… not the most comfortable feeling.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same. I remember… I remember being so confused and then… nothing. Until we all blipped back that is. Adjusting to a world that went on without you for five years hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me about it…” he murmurs, his thoughts going much further back than the five short years you both lost, the statement ringing with more truth than he was ready to admit yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You clear your throat, “Well, I certainly ruined the mood.” Laughing nervously you forge on. “Time for a new topic, I think it’s your turn...?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, let’s see…  how are things at work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, nothing exciting really. It’s not my dream job or anything, but it pays the bills and the girls I work with are pretty nice so there’s that. How about you? I’m sure your job and the people you work with are a thousand times more interesting than what I’ve got going on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky smiles fondly, “Well you already know Sam, can’t live with him, can’t work without him. He’s fun to mess with but I couldn’t ask for a better friend or partner… not since my last one anyway... But Sam’s not nearly as reckless as Steve. Steve was a handful in the best of times, always looking for a fight but in a good way, never backed down when he knew it was the right thing to do… Feels like I’ve been watching his back my whole life…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds like you two were close? Did he… did something happen...?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah he ah.. he sorta retired..? Just decided he was tired of putting his life on hold for the next mission. I supported him but it was still hard to see him go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s very noble of you Bucky. You are an amazing friend and partner. He was so lucky to have you.” The admiration and pride in your voice is unmistakable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not one for taking compliments well, a flustered Bucky attempts to lighten the situation. “Life goes on right? The world may be getting weirder every day, especially since everyone came back, but I think I’ve found my place in it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s so good to hear… I still feel a bit out of place, most of my friends survived the blip and are just in completely different places in their lives than I am. We still talk but I don’t think it’ll ever be the same…” You pulled your blanket tighter around yourself, snuggling deeper into your nest and shaking off the negative thoughts clouding your mind.  “So, tell me more about Sam, what makes him so fun to mess with?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky can’t help but laugh, “Literally everything. He’s so dramatic and it’s way too easy to push his buttons. Just the other day, we were training and he was working on throwing his shie---umm I mean this new sort of weapon and I mayyyy have been telling him the wrong thing just so it would knock him on his ass. Laughed about that for days.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You found yourself laughing right along with him, eventually ending with a sweet sigh. “What I wouldn’t give to see you smile...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky stops laughing abruptly and you immediately know you’re the cause of the sudden tension between you. Unlike previous times however you resolve not to cave or opt for the awkward smooth-over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Time to face your fears, Y/N.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bucky, part of me desperately wants to apologize for saying that but honestly, the rest of me isn’t sorry at all. I really do want you to be totally comfortable with me and I know I promised not to push you but… I need you to know that seeing you, eventually touching and being with you is something I genuinely want. I mean how could I not want that with the man that I lo--” the words stuck in your throat as you caught yourself, “...th-that I’m </span>
  <b>meant</b>
  <span> to be with? You’re my soulmate Bucky, you have to know what that means to me, to us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky felt like he was torn in two, reluctant to admit that the thought of letting you all the way in was getting to be as stressful as keeping you out but then again he was the stubborn type. “It’s not just about you seeing me doll, it’s about what seeing me will mean, it’s about my whole life and all the crazy that it entails.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know… you know you can be honest with me right? I can handle it, I promise. There is literally </span>
  <b>nothing</b>
  <span> that you could tell me that would drive me away from you, okay? Nothing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How can you promise me that?. You can’t possibly mean it. You don’t know… you don’t know my whole story. It’s not a pretty one.” You can feel his walls going up but you can’t hold it in any longer. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s now or never...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if…” you swallow nervously, “w-what if I told you I did know. That I know you better than you think I do...” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your words flowed like ice through his veins. “What are you saying Y/N?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I started to put two and two together almost immediately, as soon as you told me your name. It’s not that common you know....” He’s so quiet you wonder if he has stopped breathing. Knowing there’s no turning back you continue, “And there were so many little things that kept adding up: that you were so reluctant to let me see you, how you told me you used to be military but now you work in security... that you live and train with Sam, Sam Wilson right? Or that time you were out of contact for a week and the story broke about the Falcon and the Winter Soldier taking down that terrorist cell? I know that was you Bucky, I’m not crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You took a deep breath, calming down a bit. “Did you really think your soulmate would be that clueless? That the person meant to be with you. a literal Avenger, wouldn't be able to figure it out? I’m not upset with you, I promise. It's not like you lied to me, everything you said was ‘technically’ the truth. But... the more I learned about you the more I confirmed my hunch and the more I felt like I was lying to you, and that just didn’t sit well with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence was all you could hear on Bucky’s end but you knew he was still there. You gnawed at your lower lip worried that you had made a horrible mistake. “I wanted to come out and just tell you, so many times, but at the same time I had promised not to push you. I was waiting for you to be ready to tell me but I was also starting to worry that it was never going to happen. Bucky I’m so sorry, I--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky blurted out, “Why are you still here then?! You should have shut me out already. How could finding out </span>
  <b>not</b>
  <span> change how you felt about me? Y/N, I’m not just some guy with a military past and a job that takes me away for days, weeks, sometimes months at a time, that’s enough to put a strain on any relationship. But I’m also over a hundred years old, I deal with literal alien threats, and a-and I’ve killed so many people… those memories, the things they </span>
  <b>did</b>
  <span> to me, that part of my life is a literal hellhole, and it doesn’t go away, </span>
  <b>ever</b>
  <span>. It’s always with me… all those years without memories and now I’d give anything to forget…” You could hear his labored breathing, the anguish in his voice. Tears welled up in your eyes for him, ashamed that you’d hurt him but also desperate to be the one to comfort him. “Y/N I’m-- I’m sorry, I have to go. I need some space right now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait Bucky, don’t---” and just like that the connection severs. Not completely thank goodness, you can still sense your bond deep down, but you feel as though a chasm has formed between the two of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going anywhere Bucky… I love you...” you whisper into the silence, hoping somewhere, somehow that he can still hear you.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky was more scattered than he’d been in a long time. Guilt was eating away at him after ending your conversation so abruptly but he couldn’t wrap his fractured brain around the thought that anyone, even if that person was his soulmate, could so easily accept him demons and all. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s impossible, she could never really want me... right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Conflicted and exhausted he finally fell into a deep and fitful sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Cold. Always cold. Angry faces. Bright flashes. Hard steel. Pain. Screaming for help, for Steve, for God… nothing. It’s so cold. Always cold. More screaming. This time others, not him. Young, old, a blur of faces. Blood everywhere. Darkness. Death. More pain--why doesn’t he fight back? Stuck. No, trapped. Trapped inside his mind by that damn chair. The chair. Panic. </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Not again not again not again plea--</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He comes to alone, arms pinned, legs strapped down. Silence broken only by his ragged breathing. They’ll be coming for him soon. They always come. Shock him and break him and send his shell out to do unspeakable things in their name. So he waits. It’s inevitable. What’s the point of fighting? This is all he is good for, destruction… death. No other purpose, no good left in him, no light, just darkness lying in wait. No light… only darkness… no.. light...? </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Why is it so damn bright in here?</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He blinks furiously, squinting at the blinding light flooding the whole space until nothing is left of the terror before but him and the chair </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>(that damn chair)</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> and--</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s her, the face from his dreams, from another lifetime. She looks so beautiful, she looks so... sad? Scared? Suddenly all the fear he’s ever had for himself pales in comparison for the fear he now feels for her. His voice sounds foreign, raising in volume as his panic increases--</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No… no no no you have to go you have to leave get out of here they are coming </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>(they always come)</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> they’ll hurt you you have to go now please I can’t stop them they will kill you and I can’t protect you!” Tears streaming he pulls at his restraints until he bleeds begging her to run to go to hide--</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Her POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>You are not hidden, there’s never been a moment you were forgotten,</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>You are not hopeless, but you have been broken, your innocence stolen...</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I hear you whisper underneath your breath,</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I hear your SOS, your SOS…</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I will send out an army to find you, in the middle of the darkest night, it’s true, I will rescue you</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This dream is.. different. You don’t know how you know, you just know. Everything sharper than normal, your senses heightened. Wandering an empty space, light being the only thing in every direction except… there. On the edge of your consciousness is a chair...? No, more machine than chair… Suddenly closer, you make out the shape of a person inside all that metal. Shaking, sweat soaked, wrecked, defeated… your heart explodes with compassion, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>I need to help them</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. Even closer now, close enough to nearly touch when they flinch, squinting and blinking up at you, clouded blue eyes locking with yours and literally looking into your soul. You gasp, knowing immediately who this is, who </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>he</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> is, knowing where you are and what is happening to him, all in an instant. He’s crying now </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>(don’t cry, love) </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>babbling and begging you to run and panicking as you do the exact opposite, kneeling at his feet, your tears mirroring his.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“B-Bucky..? Bucky! It’s me, it’s Y/N! This is just a dream, an awful nightmare. No one is coming, we’re gonna be okay, I promise!” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Eyes shut tight he thrashes against his restraints, not snapping out of it he keeps insisting, “No no no they’ve done it before they are coming </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>(they always come)</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> and they will hurt you, they will torture you just to get to me--”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” you push back a sob, “no, you're dreaming but I-I’m not a part of it, it’s me, the real me! Look at me, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>look at me</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>! Bucky it’s me, you have to wake up, please!” He finally stills, doubt and fear filling his features as he dares to meet your eyes again.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“H-how do I know it’s </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>really</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> you right now? If it’s not--” he shakes his head violently, “if it’s a lie and I wake up… what then?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re just going to have to trust me, can you do that? For me?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He pauses, still struggling with the decision. “Do you promise to be there? When I wake up? I don’t want to be alone, I can’t…” he chokes on the thought, fresh tears staining his face.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, yes of course Bucky, if you want me there I’ll be there, I promise.” Tears streaming, you lean close to whisper, “Wake up Bucky, wake up…”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>His POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s back. He feels it, he knows it, but he can’t seem to bring himself to open his eyes. His heart is still racing, sweat soaking through his sheets. He forces himself to slow his breathing, struggles to pull his thoughts away from his nightmare, to get grounded. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It was only a dream, just a dream, she’s safe, she wasn’t really there… was she?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Curiosity quickly outweighing his doubts he tentatively whispers into the dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y/N? You there…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promised you I would be.” Your voice was so soft, and so close, as if you were lying right next to him. For the first time he truly wished you were right there, close enough to see, to touch. Keeping you at arms length was exhausting and he struggled to remember why he kept clinging so doggedly to the barriers he’d erected between you. With his nightmare still so vivid in his memory he needed to see you, to know you were truly alright. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gradually peeking through one eye, then two, eyes widening as he blinked furiously at the impossibility before him. It was like looking into a mirror except the reflection was all wrong. Instead of the gray walls that held his bookshelves he saw shimmers of light filtering in through windows covered in translucent fabric. Fairy lights strung from the ceiling were just enough to illuminate the outline of a person, at least that’s what he assumed to be buried there under what seemed to be an excessive amount of blankets and pillows. His eyes slid upwards, following the fluffy outline until they rested on a face so familiar yet so new that it took his breath away. Whatever he thought he remembered from his dreams paled in comparison to the face of the angel that now laid mere inches away from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes were closed, brow furrowed in the most adorable way, lower lip trapped between her teeth, and he swore he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his long and tortured life. She was real, and she was here, and he never wanted to go back to not knowing her face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y/N, doll... open your eyes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Buck..? H-how do you know… wait, you can see me?” His heart leapt from the hope laced in her voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah... that’s why I need you to open your eyes for me. I-I’m ready for you, I want you to see me too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Her POV</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your lashes fluttered, nerves suddenly filling your belly. You had hoped and dreamed of this moment, one step closer to your soulmate and now-- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There he is, lying parallel to you as if you had simply fallen asleep next to each other, his silhouette glowing faintly from the moon shining through his windows. Your eyes flick to his face and oh--- your breath catches as your gazes lock again, just like in his nightmare except now those eyes are so soft, so clear, not a trace of the pain and terror from earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this… am I dreaming?” you whisper, afraid of the answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles at that, oh you could bask in that smile forever, “If either of us is dreaming it’s definitely me, maybe my brain is trying to make up for all the crap it usually puts me through...” His eyes clouded over and you knew he was being drug back into that negative space. Without thinking you reached out to comfort him but stopped just before touching him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed, I didn’t ask---”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay Y/N, I.. I want you to. I don’t know how or if it will work, I don’t know how any of this works… I--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shhh,” you interrupted him, “trust the bond Bucky. This is real, what we are, what we have… all you have to do is let me in…” He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly before nodding. You reach out again, hovering just above his cheek and then-- the slightest brush of your fingertips against his cheekbone. You can feel the rough scratch of his stubble against your palm as you caress his jaw. He sighs, so softly you almost miss it, and then you feel his hand rest against your own, pressing your palm against his face and curling his fingers around it. So warm, so real… you could explode from the joy bursting within you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky’s eyes fly open, the wonder within unmistakable. “You--you’re real, I can feel you… this is insane, how is this… this is impossible!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bubbles of happiness leak out as you giggle in giddy joy, bringing his hand to your cheek then reaching to hold his face again, brushing away a stray tear. “This is so much more than I ever thought it would be, it’s so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Overwhelming? Mind blowing? Crazy?” He shakes his head, still rocked by the whole experience.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect.” you murmured. “I.. it feels like finally coming home after being away. Like I can rest here, safe and warm and like… like I’m not alone anymore.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bucky sighs as his thumb caresses your cheek. “I may not fully understand any of this Y/N, but I know I can’t keep denying the feelings I have for you. The desire to protect you, to give you that security you’re talking about? It feels just as real as any other emotion I’ve ever had. But…the idea that we’re just supposed to magically find each other and live happily ever after? How is that a real relationship? We barely know each other...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Having a soulmate doesn’t mean things are perfect Bucky, my parents still fought, still had disagreements, were still two vibrant and amazing individuals but let me tell you, when they were together on something? It was like the heavens opened and the planets aligned. They always had the security that they were it for each other, they had found their person. Their relationship had a rock solid foundation of safety and love underneath everything else. And I’m so insanely happy that I have that chance with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You prayed that your words were making a difference as you continued, “I agree, getting to really know each other is going to take time, and it should. That’s why consent is so important for this process, both of us have to be ready for the next step forward. I’ve been waiting for you my whole life James Buchanan Barnes, and I’ll keep waiting as long as it takes. I meant it, I’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You feel more than see him relax as he settles in closer to you, your foreheads pressed gently together. He takes your hand, intertwining your fingers and resting your clasped hands between you. “I still don’t think I deserve any of this, not by a longshot, but I know there’s no way I could go back to a life without you in it. Thank you Y/N, for being you, and for never giving up on me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lifting his hand to your lips you placed the softest of kisses on his knuckles, knuckles you knew had seen more ugliness and pain than you could in your whole lifetime. You felt your soulmate bond strengthening now that you’d both taken steps forward in trust. An incredible feeling of relief enveloped you both and a deep and peaceful sleep followed soon after.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Another tedious and draining work week was finally coming to a close. You squeezed through the elevator doors just in time, extra pep in your step knowing that at home was the promise of pjs and a movie night with Bucky. Since taking your connection to the next level a few weeks ago you two had been “dating”, well… at least the long-distance soulmate version of dating. Weekly movie nights had become a favorite of yours, each of you comfy in your own beds but still able to snuggle close and cross films off Bucky’s watchlist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though you could now hear, see, and even touch each other he still was reluctant to pull you into his life completely. Once the truth about Bucky had been aired out so had one of his deeper reasons for keeping you at arm's length. His desire to protect you had convinced him that you were safer for the time being far away from him, his job, and the dangers that came from a relationship with someone who basically had a target on their back 24/7. You of course continued to be understanding but also made it clear that your desire to see him face to face wasn’t going to fade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deciding to just have dinner delivered you were almost home when something small and white streaked across the street and darted into a nearby alley. Cautiously peering into the dimly lit space you saw some random cardboard boxes piled up next to a dumpster but nothing out of the ordinary. Just as you were turning away another flash of something caught your eye, the tiniest flicker from under the dumpster. Your curiosity got the better of you as you crept forward to get a closer look. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t be a rat, please don’t be a rat…</span>
  </em>
  <span> Crouching down to get a better look you practically melted at the sweet feline face staring back at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing under there, huh?” A plaintive little mew answered you back. From what you could see the kitten wasn’t much more than fur and bones and your heart clenched at the thought of it out in the elements all alone. “Oh you are definitely coming home with me. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that alleys like this are no place for sweet things like you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds like someone needs to take her own advice.” All the alarms in your head went off as you stood and turned towards the menacing voice, your fears materializing when you find not one but two hulking figures between you and the freedom and relative safety of the street. “You won’t scream sweetheart, if you know what’s good for you.”</span>
</p>
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